Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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