Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
