who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
