Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

well most of my day revolves around power hour

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.

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(248): View more from Michigan

We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.

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(904): View more from Florida

The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles

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(519): View more from Ontario

Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!

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