he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
