The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
