i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
