tell your sister to shave her snatch
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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