Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
