My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
