your parents love me but you hate me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
