Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
