that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize