I hope mine doesn't look like that
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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