I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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