you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
