Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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