what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The Olympian is in my bed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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