Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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