well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
