whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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