Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
