Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
