Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
