I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
