He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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