He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
