he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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