I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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