What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
MIDGETS
????
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
