Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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