I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
