found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
