Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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