I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
