In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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