I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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