help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
