So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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