Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize