You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
