Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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