hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
