sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
