OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
