so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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