Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize