is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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