false alarm. still invincible.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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