...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
