"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
