the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
