she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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