I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's get the cat blown out
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize