my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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