In the future we'll all be gay
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
