cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she told me i tasted like america
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize