i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
