i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
