you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
