I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
