my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
