so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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