dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
