I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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