I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
