i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
