she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
