I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
