Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
